EPISODE 002: KATAKATA
I was totally unaware of all the noise filtering through my window from the streets of Kano, fully focused on the phone call I had been anticipating all day.
“Hello!” I said
“Hello Tunde!” The lady on the other side of the line replied “I am calling from The1Habitat. You booked a call for this time? Please confirm that the time is convenient for you?”
“Yes it is.” I said with a sigh of relief and gratitude that I found this organization, www.the1habitat.org and booked a call.
For the first time in a while, I could truly express myself and not worry about being judged.”
Where do I begin?” I asked,
“How about we start from the beginning?” the lady replied.
“I am a married man with kids. I got involved with a lady who is also married with two kids but had left her husband. We dated for a while and then she got pregnant and then we had a child. You would think I would stop after that, no I didn’t, and she got pregnant again. Now she has two kids for me, and still wanted more. All hell broke loose when I told her I couldn’t marry her for obvious reasons. I mean, yes, at the beginning I didn’t tell her I was married but along the line, I did and I thought we were ok.
Being the trouble maker that she is; she raised hell, embarrassing me at the slightest opportunity! She’s always been a bit of ‘touch and go.’
She’s been to my family house, office, and anywhere the opportunity presented itself for her to haul insults at me.
My life has been a nightmare.
Several family meetings have been held concerning the issue.
At the family meeting, It was decided that I would take care of the children’s school fees, medical bills and upkeep which, so far, I have adhered to. But she hasn’t stopped with the drama, now she uses the children to get extra money from me. At a point I tried going to the police for help but I was referred to a mediation center where the matter has been. Now the crux of the matter is that the lady cannot be reached!! She has moved out of her place and changed her phone numbers. So now I’m stuck and don’t know how to get out of this situation.
I paused for a moment, then started to say almost under my breath: “The last time I saw her, she gave so much drama and vowed to ruin my life and she is not ready to stop anytime soon,and honestly it scared me a lot.”
Please help me!
I’m in a dilemma!!
“Hello Tunde, are you there?” The lady on the other side of the line asked concerned that I had suddenly gone quiet.
“I’m here, sorry!” My voice cracked a bit because of the emotions, it was all choking me.
Okay! The lady said and continued: “like our slogan says, we are here to listen to you and allow you express yourself. “So I have to ask, if you don’t mind, can I chip in some advice?”
“Please go ahead.” I said
“Ok! I would advice that you get little extra cash and track her down. At least, her phone number, whenever she calls again.” The lady said firmly.
“Or alternatively you could try a tough love approach.
By that, I mean STOP with the upkeep money you send and demand a face to face meeting before any more money can be sent to her. Loop-in the Mediation centre so they are also at the meeting.” The lady without pausing continued.
“As it stands, only the Mediation centre can bring lasting settlement and give strict instructions as to how both of you would relate. As a matter of fact, an officer can be assigned to collect the upkeep monthly or whenever you need to send it and she would only relate to that officer! Not you Mr Tunde, not anymore. And of course, visitation periods will then be arranged so you could see the kids.
“Furthermore, to be on the safe side,” the lady continued to say, “You may have to move with your family to another location so she doesn’t pay you any surprise visits.”
“That’s true!” I replied, “I hadn’t even thought about that.”
“Thank you so, so much!” I blurted out feeling practically dazed not believing how fortunate I was to have found The1Habitat.
“Please if I need to keep in touch what do I do?” I said still feeling totally excited at the prospect of having such a conversation again.
“Just go to the website www.The1Habitat.org and book a call. We will definitely call you.” The lady on the other side of the phone line said,this time with a smile in her voice.
“Thank you for everything.” I said truly feeling grateful.
“No! Thank you for booking with The1Habitat…
please do stay strong and have a good evening.”